African Cup of Nations' Quarterfinals

Can you name each of the remaining nations?

You win a fucking cookie if so.

Enjoy

Earth Plays Some Cosmic Asteroids

Earth played a sweet game of chicken later Tuesday and early Wednesday with this little pixelated fellow.

Yes, that's right this potentially global killer sized beasty slipped past barely farther than the Moon away. 'Course no one knew it wouldn't pulverise our ass 'til a little less than two weeks ago.

Rumours and scuttlebutt indiciate some sort of craft may have been used to nudge the asteroid slightly.

At least, for now, we get to keep our fucking quarter and avoid some all-caps GAME OVER joy.

We're All Just Fucking Sheep

Yeah that's right it's Monday time.

Somehow we all have to motivate ourselves after a weekend without any NFL glory to bask in (-11.5 to -14 depending where you look. Veeeeerrryy tempting).

There was plenty of real football to roll around in like a very happy pig in shit all weekend long though. With FA Cup Forth Round ties, a excellent EPL game, and the ongoing 'no guts, no glory' of the African Nations Cup.

For some reason while ESPN (the blight of fucking American sport television by the way, but that's a whole other post) the European Championship this summer, no one not even the Fucking Soccer Channel or Setanta (Say-tant-a) wanted to buy up the rights to the ANC. That's sort of sad because the games I've seen are above the quality of the Copa America from this past summer and maybe even than World Cup '0tt-6.

Anyway fuck, double fuck, and a motherfuck to you on a Monday.

The Wonderful Oz

Happy Fucking Australia Day!

Which apparently commemorates the establishment of the first European settlement on the continent probably consisting of rapists, murderers, and crazies. Woohoo!

[Insert obligatory Outback, Foster's, Shrimp on the Barbie and/or Cricket reference here]

All the Dude Wanted Was His Rug Back

Come on Fucking Seven

Seriously what if you're on a roll at the craps table or with a homely and unlucky blackjack dealer and they tell you you have to evacuate the hotel because the roof is on fire.

Fuck off and let the motherfucker burn?

As usual the wild and crazy members of the pirahna-like media descended on this story in seconds. Fire! High-rise death! Heroic firefighters! Yeah you know they eat this shit up.